Well, I thought I would be a little less busy this week, but I was wrong. Life has a funny way of throwing shit at you, and as it so happens, my other grandfather, Poppy T, passed away this past Tuesday. He was my Dad's father, and it also happened to be my Dad's birthday. It was sudden and very sad, but I'm pretty sure I'm still in shock and haven't really processed what has happened, because while I'm sad about it, I find myself not really sure how to feel. It's kind of hard to describe. I've cried my tears. I have my regrets of course. I haven't seen him in 11 years, and didn't really make the effort to call often. I'm not really sure why I do that. It's the second time something like this has happened and I think I just feel empty. I should have called more. I should have tried to visit more. I should have called when he went into the hospital last Friday. I don't know why I didn't. Now the opportunity has passed and I'm not really sure what to do at this point.
I took off work the day it happened. I went to work the rest of the week because sitting at home and mulling over it would do me no good. I didn't have anymore paid time off or money to fly up to Philadelphia for the funeral. I wanted to be there very badly. This morning was the memorial service. One of my brothers at least was able to make it, which I am thankful for. I am glad that my Dad got to see him alive before he passed.
Chris is at work until tomorrow. I went to the farmer's market with my Mom In Law today and picked up a few things. Came home and had my brother over to have dinner with me so I wouldn't have to sit alone tonight, but here I am mulling over it and still not sure how to feel.
No comments:
Post a Comment